EULOGY FOR AN UNMET FRIEND

Buddy,

How often did we start our conversations this way. How often did this lead into long, interesting, funny, sad and incisive discussions about life in all its facets, the cruel twists of fate, about motocross, about music, about laughter, about love, about all. There was never a dull moment, and those shared moments were pure gold. Such a pleasure it was always to see the conversation notification light up, and though days were busy, there would always be time for a chat.

We knew each other in passing in the passages of the cyberworld, but it was your cry to the world that brought on the conversation that was, in many ways, life-changing. You had experienced the sharp end of life, and the blades cut deep. Within the space of a few months, you and your siblings had lost two grandparents and both parents under the most tragic of circumstances.

One raw wound was opened upon the other, yet you bore it with wisdom and fortitude far beyond your years. More than this, your concerns were not so much for yourself, but for your sister, who was unwell at the time, and your twin brother who was in hospital. Their well-being consumed you more than your own sorrow, and this marked you as a young man that lived beyond your own life – for the good of others. Yet you bore a hard load, and often you had to break away to cleanse your mind. Often your escape was provided by your beloved skateboard, which reminded you of shared happiness with Nick at a time when he could not join you. Little were we to know ..

We discovered a shared love for Rock Music, and you became a fan of Wake to Wonder straight away. We knew of course by then that motocross was the sport we both were passionate about. We compared notes on riders, and introduced many new friends into our shared circle to share the passion for racing and help carry your burden. How I smiled to find that some of these new friends, in a very short time, became very close to you. It was not surprising, for this was the very mark of you. How happy you were when Shannon Terreblanche, your favourite rider, initiated conversation with you. It was an honour for you, but I know it was for him too. Not one friend that I introduced had anything but the highest respect for you. You inspired fondness like few I've known, and all of your new friends relished the thought of being able to meet you. So did I. Alas, fate would not allow this, and this pain shall remain with me forever.

When the load of grief and pain you had to carry seemed unbearable, we spoke more and more. We tried to look forward, to the time when the wounds would have healed, when you would find love and happiness, when your golden laugh would ring out again into the world. On one particularly difficult night, I interrupted my journey to provide what inadequate words I could. I was stuck in a place more than 10 000km away, even though my very existence cried out to be able to be there and share your pain. It was on this night, more than ever, that a bond was formed that I shall carry with me until the day that I, too, will lay my head down.

Little by little, your inner strength won over, and though the pain still lingered, you could pick your head up and look at life in all its beauty again. Fun times returned, you found companionship, you enjoyed special moments with Nick and Joli. You looked to the future again and made plans. You and your siblings would have the summer of your lives, filled with racing and music and travel and fun. You would get to meet your new South African friends.

The bad news popped up in the inbox and hit like a sledgehammer. You had crashed with your skateboard and were badly injured. From that moment on, thoughts of your well-being were uppermost in my mind. Nick and Joli were never separated from you for a single minute, as you had supported them before, they now carried you in their hopes and prayers. You were blood of their blood, flesh of their flesh, and the special circumstances had moulded your family into an inseparable whole.

We travelled to Europe, always hoping that we could come by, even if it be with a big detour, to finally meet you and wish you well. And then the message that I dreaded most of all came through. You fought like a tiger, but in the end the odds were simply overwhelming, and you had to let go.

Never has a loss struck in harder. The world was immediately a different place. For those who knew you, a true champion had departed. Grief and disbelief and impotent rage at the iniquity of it all filled our existence, and I had to accept that the conversation window would forever remain empty, the sms'es would forever remain unanswered, and the first handshake would forever remain unshaken.

Riddled with sadness as we were, the tour continued. When the band struck the first notes at the Grand Prix show, it all got too much. This was supposed to have been your moment. You were not there to share in it, but your soul filled the stage like no other. This one was for you.

This reality now faces us, and somehow we have to find a a way to move on. For your friends it is hard enough, for your family and especially your twin it must be nigh on unbearable to contemplate life without you. Yet the memory of your sunny being and the impact you had on those around you will reach out and help carry them, and the unselfish spirit that so typified you will want them to carry on, taking your memory forward.

And so the time has come to bid you farewell, fair friend. A beautiful, sunny soul has bid us adieu, and we shall not forget. We were destined to never meet, yet we knew each other well. Your favourite band never got to discover first hand just how special you were, but your memory will be carried forward in their song always. The loss is great, and burns shallow in my eyes every time a memory comes rolling in.

You were lent to the world but for a short 16 years, but your impact was that of a giant.

Fare thee well, gentle Kevin. Never forgotten.